So the whole reason I started this blog was to really express myself and reflect on my life so far and what is yet to come. This year, well, over an accumulation of time I have begun to value my life and myself so much more. I have grown from believing I am the girl that’s the chubby, funny, girl with a college degree to valuing my mind, body, and soul above all; even other people’s opinions – as hard as that may be.
Its funny how things change, when you realize that you aren’t just a girl, a stereotype, a human being, and that you have a purpose, a plan, and a whole damn life to live, something inside you is ignited. I realized I didn’t just have to be a party girl, or a gym rat, or a passionate adventurer, I could be anything I wanted. I created my own stereotype. I am an adventure seeking, gym going, photograph taking, poetry writing, and outdoor loving gal. When I finally let myself be, what I truly wanted to be, it was mind-blowing, and just like that something was ignited. I found I had a hunger for passion, adventure, self-love, better being, and to find like-minded people. I went from valuing other people’s opinion over mine to believing my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. I went from believing I was the funny and dumb girl to knowing I am a strong, open minded, loving girl who has brains and a sense of humor. I went from believing I would always be dissatisfied with my body to knowing I can take control, and live a healthier, stronger, and happier life. Along with all these changes came a change of scenery, a change of heart, and a change of mind. I began to pursue my passions, try new things, get out of my comfort zone and explore myself a bit more. It’s led me to some truly amazing places and conclusions.
This blog has really given me the chance to express myself, not just through writing, but by writing down what’s on my mind, what I feel, and what I believe it brings clarity to me. That’s why I am so glad I began writing poetry, yes some people would consider poetry ‘lame’, but its something I love and feel passionate about. I only began writing poetry last year and it has brought so much to light for me, and inspires me very deeply. When a feeling strikes me and I just want to spill the words onto a page and it just feels amazing, it feels like a breathe of fresh air.
Its just like when I write about my travels, I feel as though I am reliving those moments, like I take a step back in time and I am standing in a forest, standing on a cliff, exploring a city, looking into the ocean, or gazing into a waterfall. They are all related because for me these are moments I value the most. These moments that make you stop, think, and feel a flood of emotions, of happiness, of passion, of love, and this, to me is what life is all about. I crave feeling truly alive, ignited, and in the moment.
When I first started venturing out into nature and exploring my mind a bit more, I realized how inspired I was. Nature opened up another part of my mind that I was unaware I even had. Nature does not judge, it does not criticize, it does not fight, it simply welcomes you, joins you in your adventure and is one of the kindest friends one can have. To find pleasure in the simple things in life is what I strive to do. So if sitting in a forest makes one mad, then I am mad. Not only has nature shown me a different side of myself, its a side I like. A side that is calm, loving, and caring. It brings peace to the mind, clarity to the soul, and positive vibes to the heart.
I don’t believe I am better than anyone, nor do I think I’m doing something greater with my life than anyone else. I can still be judgmental, sarcastic, and rash, but I’m working on it, I am only human. Instead I’m just doing things differently than other people and following my passions. I always struggled to understand what I really wanted, I was frustrated that I couldn’t say where I wanted to be in 10 years… because well I still don’t know. I thought I wanted something, so naturally I pursued it but realized I was chasing a dream because it was what other people were doing, not what I really wanted to be doing. I still can’t tell you where I will be in 10 years, let alone next year. (Hopefully in a different country climbing mountains, swimming in the sea, or just in a place I am happy). But what I do know is that the present is what matters, and I know that if I am happy in this moment and follow my passions and continue to make things happen for myself I can’t be anything but happy; and to me a happy life is the best one you can live.