So I was going through my laptop and came across a funny document from January 1st of this year, called ‘Gym Goals – 2015’. I was convinced this was the year, this was the year I would turn it all around. Boy did I not have a clue. I read somewhere that by posting your goals you are a lot likelier to complete them or at least try, as you have a constant reminder. So I can remember sitting on my quilted bed, all bundled up in my cozy apartment bedroom in Canada and writing this, potentially still feeling the booze from the night before (because I mean who wasn’t) and thinking I couldn’t accomplish this… somewhat doubting myself and somewhat trying to be realistic. I was writing down these gym goals, part of me feeling fired up and part of me feeling already defeated. I remember thinking… well if you can at least accomplish some of these you will be your own damn hero. BECAUSE GIRL POWER. I had been quite committed to the gym for almost 3 months straight – and had been proud at what I had accomplished. It was January 1st… ah the day that everyone writes goals for the New Year and never keeps to them… BUT for once in my life I ticked off every single damn box on my list and the year isn’t even up yet. So this was my list I came up with:
Gym Goals 2015:
WEIGHT: Something healthy and makes you comfortable in your own skin day in and day out
Be the best version of yourself.
- Squat: 225 pounds
- Push Ups: 50 in a row
- Leg Press: 3 plates either side
- Deadlift: 2 plates either side
- Run 5 kilometers more often
- Perfect the front squat
- Be able to do 3 sets of 20 burpees
Health Goals 2015:
- Find balance in diet
- Smoothie a day
- Cheat when necessary and don’t binge.
- Conquer bingeing.
Complete by December 31, 2015
So I did just that. I ticked every damn box. I remember posting this in my bedroom because I read a blog that said if you posted your goals it would be a reminder to yourself daily and you would basically feel obliged to follow through. So I posted it in my room and didn’t really look at it all that much until when I was moving out in April. That’s when it hit me… I was half way there. Here we are now in late October and I have completed every single thing on that list, I have outdone myself. On January 1st I was lifting:
Squat: 165 pounds
Deadlift: 185 pounds
Bench: 75 pounds
I stuck to those weights… I was comfortable and so proud of myself at that point. I was being consistent, eating well and balancing it very well. But to be totally honest I hadn’t totally bought in yet. I was comfortable with the weights I was lifting and the progress was painfully slow. So here we are now. On October 26th I am lifting:
Squat: 275 pounds
Deadlift: 340 pounds
Bench: 140 pounds
Still hard to believe how far I have come.
Anyways… back to the list, some obvious things stand out – I accomplished all my physical goals. I OUT DID all the physical goals. But something still remains, I am better than ever really, but I still struggle with binge eating. I used to think I was the only one, who would stress over food, but I’ve done my fair amount of research and I believe to a certain extent everyone struggles. Sure I could lie and say ‘I hit my macros and calorie intake everyday’. But I don’t. I am still struggling to figure out a balance between lifting weights, being slim, and being happy. It’s a work in progress, but I am willing to put in the time and effort because I know it will only make me better and healthier in the long run.
What I took from this list was that I underestimated myself. I tend to do that. I always try to be realistic with myself… as much as I can. I literally remember thinking ‘well if I tick off some of the boxes, that’s good enough.’ I can’t believe I didn’t think this was in my reach… like do I even know myself. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I have changed, not like the ‘OMG I swear I’ve changed’ kind of way, but in a way bigger way. I used to be scared of weights; I’d walk up to the squat rack, the bars, and the dumbbells and be like ‘I guess I can do this’. Like what the hell. Why would I think that way? Seriously. Anyways, now I walk up to the squat rack and say ‘you can do this, you have f***ing got this’, put on some rocking tunes, and DO IT *insert Nike quotes*. Anyways a lot has changed clearly in almost 10 months. I am not trying to say this will happen for everyone… I was born to lift heavy – my parents do it and I’m built for it. I didn’t wish for it. I went to the gym 5-6 days a week, got hundreds of blisters (bloody ones too), sweated my ass off, got emotional as hell and wanted to give up, ate a ton of filthy foods because I could, got up at stupid times of the day to squeeze in a workout, went to the gym hung over as hell, nearly died on the treadmill – a few times to be honest, and lastly – did not give up. If I only went to the gym on days I felt motivated or felt really good… I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I hate when I see things on social media like ’10 day cleanse to drop 10 pounds’ or ‘Lose 25 pounds in 1 month’ like, this sends a horrible message to not only young women and men, but it sets them up for failure. When you don’t understand your body, or the mechanics of it, you read these things and think they are achievable. Just as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, social media is a perfect example of it. You see a ‘fitspo’ or ‘gym junkie’ with an unreal body, and they post about how they can get you this body in a short amount of time. If this year taught me anything, progress is painstakingly slow. Sure you can transform your body rapidly, but is it isn’t healthy or maintainable. So write your goals down, remind yourself, get motivated and get to it.
At the end of the day, it’s not who you’re trying to impress, who you’re trying to prove wrong, or what you’re trying to achieve. You should be doing this for yourself, not anyone else. You have to see the long term – yes it took me almost a year to get here, yes it was painful as hell, and some people think I’m nuts. But these are my goals, my ambitions, and I’ve still got a hell of a long way to go.
The point of this post was not to make you feel bad about not sticking to your new years goals, what you lift, or how often you go to the gym. It is to show you progress takes time, effort, determination, and everything is achievable. So write a list today – post it up and get to it! Do not lose confidence, do not give up on yourself and do not quit. It will be all worth it I swear!