push – a mental & physical journey

Some may believe that I will never achieve greatness,

That I am bound to these weights I carry,

I set goals too far out of reach,

Or an end is never in sight,

I am not happy with myself or what my body can provide for me,

I am too sexual,

Or just the opposite,

I am doing something unhealthy,

And wrecking the proper image of what a woman’s body should be,

That I will never be skinny so I settle for something else,

So here is something that has built up in me for quite sometime,

 

You cannot tell me I am wrong,

You spew out facts with no backing,

They no longer suffocate me and bind my wrists,

They no longer hold me captive or bring fear to the weakest version of myself,

If only you knew,

The one thing I can control in my life is myself,

My body,

My work ethic,

My mind,

And my abilities to push through pain,

Just as you can yourself,

So believe what you will,

That you are above this,

That this isn’t for you,

And that lifting weights is nothing more than a mental illness,

A symbol of being vain and self obsessed,

Or a lack of confidence in ones body,

 

But I will prove to you just the opposite,

I am not building myself up for your sake,

This is not a competition of the fittest,

It is not a sickness or a nagging chore,

This is exactly what you think it isn’t,

It is a passion,

An outlet for rage and aggression,

It is a hunger for pushing limits and ones self,

It is also where my greatest victories lie and still what may lie ahead,

It is where my growth mentally has far succeeded my physical abilities,

And it is where I once began just like you,

 

So I learnt to love the pain,

The fear,

The angst,

And conquer the apprehension of the unknown,

The fear of my abilities,

And myself,

Push through and find success in things you once believed you couldn’t,

And you can grow much more from that,

Than from almost anything else in life,

 

I am not here to prove you wrong,

I am here to prove myself wrong,

Any doubts and negative stigmas,

To break the mental barriers my mind holds,

They will be superseded,

To sweat,

And bleed,

And gasp for air,

To feel my lungs burn,

Calluses build,

And brain pulse,

Through this,

I will build my greatest self,

My strongest self,

And mental strength will always come first.

 

Your ability to understand me,

Has nothing to do with me,

But simply you,

And the fears that lie in your own mind.

 

Something I wrote about my journey into powerlifting – I have come across all sorts of people and their opinions are all different. Some encouraging, others not so much, but regardless I have found a passion – and with that, it means so much more to me then your opinion. 

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