‘We create the barriers we want’
Never has a saying been so true. We feel the pressure to conform, and bare the chains society lays upon us. But why? No child is born feeling embarrassment, judgement, or hate. They are the most careless little creatures – which is where this idea stemmed from.
Someone once told me ‘embarrassment is a one sided feeling’. How true is this though? I mean, if I tripped and fell, most people (I would hope) would be feeling sorry for me, potentially worried, and some may laugh. But no one else would be looking at me and feeling embarrassed for me.
For any child, if they fell they wouldn’t be thinking about what the witnesses were thinking, they would either decide if it was funny or if it hurt. This is my exact point. No child is born and immediately reinstated with the idea that accidents, differences, and mistakes are embarrassing. We as a society deem these as embarrassing because to be different and to stand out is going against the grain.
‘Embarrassment is a one sided feeling’. This saying hit me harder then any other, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I truly held myself back from many opportunities that I had never realized before. Some may say I seemed careless, but deep down I was the same embarrassed little girl I had always been. Scared to stand out, to voice my thoughts, and to make a royal mistake in front of people.
So this is where I grew from: I began trying the things that I never would have like a Body Attack and Body Pump class (basically a class of fast paced dancing to work on cardio – I am not a ‘dancer), yoga, a coffee barista course, trail running, and simply doing things by myself. Sure I made a fool of myself multiple times, but by being able to break the barrier I created in my own mind that held me back, I was able to enjoy the unknown. I was able to laugh at my mistakes when I couldn’t keep up with the classes (this made other people laugh, if not smile too), when I was slipping and sliding all over my yoga mat, when I fell during a trail run in front of a group of guys, and when I went to a concert by myself.
Every single one of those experiences I dove into by myself, I said to hell with embarrassment, it does not exist, and from there it was as though a heavy weight was lifted. I broke the barriers of my own mind and to me, this is the best way to experience life and to experience yourself. I cared a little less, I smiled a little more, and I felt things a little deeper. This is growth at its finest.