get through it

I’ll get through it,

I said it,

And I think I meant it,

For a second,

But then as it sank in,

The pressure settled,

The air began to escape,

And the weight began to grow,

I am doing what I despise,

Settling.

 

Why would I settle,

To get through it,

I refrain from gritting my teeth,

And thinking too much,

From letting myself know and admit,

What a waste this is,

To settle,

To lose myself in something so destructive,

 

Just get through it,

I repeat this endlessly,

Just bear this moment,

These countless hours,

It’ll be worth it,

I murmur these words over,

Get through it,

Bare it,

Settle for it,

 

That is just not me,

I do not settle,

I conquer,

But this is one battle with no end,

This is one year with no breath,

 

Get through it,

I sigh,

I settle,

I slink back to comfort,

Just get through it,

Then you,

Can get back to you.

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