lost again

Can you truly lose yourself?
Or do you just fade in and out of consciousness,
Like a light slumber,
With a mere illusion of time,
And all that is here now,

I felt myself fade so quickly,
Like a fever that overcame my body,
And I slowly drifted into a subconscious state,
Not totally in control,
But not totally cast away,

Time had no value,
And an overwhelming feeling of energy and the known slipped away,
I was trapped in my own fate,
My own mind,
And my own body that had betrayed me,

I lost myself once to a sickness,
A momentary lapse of judgment,
And a lapse of myself,

I cured myself I suppose,
But like anything,
Nothing lasts forever,
And this illness clings to my lungs,
My bones,
And my body,
Waiting for a weak moment,
And a weaker me,
To get lost in myself again.

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