Passion. It is what drives me, and pushes me through every endeavor of my life. I am such a passionate person. It oozes out of me, from my core. I wear it so proudly because that is what I am, a proudly passionate person.
Recently, it bit me in the ass. Hard. I instantly regretted it. Showing the world how I wear my heart on my sleeve. How I feel things on astronomical levels (all or nothing baby!). How my eternal optimism can blind me from being realistic and how many people will never understand my passion. I always believed that for me to be perfectly happy I would have to find people who are equally passionate about life, just like myself. But the thing is, I do believe that I am an anomaly. That others may not function on the same level that I do, over calculate every emotion, check themselves mentally daily, and have the same state of mind. We are all completely different and this is what draws me to other people, makes me want to know them inside + out. Being able to learn and relate to others is all progression. Growing personally and extending your knowledge onto them, even if it is just to laugh or be completely ridiculous. You never leave any conversation or person the same.
But with all that comes the true burden – to share your thoughts and emotions with someone, truly open up and then face the light. People wont reciprocate your love, passion or your views. They wont like you, understand you, or even get what you’re all about. Occasionally, people will completely mislead you to. But at the end of the day we can all walk away from it. We’re still alive, we are simply learning – the hard and painful way maybe.
In this case I was hurt, and completely a mental wreck. But finally, instead of turning to anger and deceit I turned to myself. I asked ‘What is the lesson in this?’. I sat, and reflected. I asked myself deep and meaningful questions. And finally I realized, I don’t like the outcome but at one point it made me happy, and it made me grow. That’s truly all I can ask for. Everything is a lesson, somehow, someway. When we start to see that, we can begin to delve into our feelings on a deeper level and get to understand what makes us glow. What makes us truly happy, what our passions are and finally WHY we chase them in such a reckless pursuit.
It still boggles my mind that others don’t wear their heart on their sleeve, or they don’t speak what’s truly on their mind. But at the end of the day, that’s their journey and not yours. Learn from their mistakes and step forward on your own path. You can’t control others, and their feelings. At the end of everyday we can take something away from it, growth is a lifelong pursuit of passion.
‘There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.’ – Nelson Mandela