I am a large believer in creating conversation. Not in the ‘hey how are you?’ kind of greeting, but really getting down to conversation. Creating connections. Talking about more than other people, the weather, or the latest gossip. It seems in this day and age that is where things have gone amiss. We are so consumed in others lives, that we can not reflect on our own. Therefore we have nothing better to talk about than other people, and their problems. Or on the flip side we believe our opinion is so important, that we must out do our neighbors, it must be heard, as it is far superior to anyone else’s. There is no even ground really.
When you first meet someone, you size them up. Without even knowing it, because it is human instinct. You compare yourselves to each other, and find a common ground on which you share your interests, and feelings. But its all very safe. We stick to the basics: what do you do for a living? Where do you live? How old are you? You’re basically just filling in a job application form verbally. But why do we stick to the routine. Do we really care what they do for a living? Where they live or how old they are? We are meeting the standards of conversations. Carrying on with our mediocre conversations and mediocre lives.
Great. I mean kudo’s to you for having striking up a conversation with another person. But really, would you walk away from that conversation and feel like you personally found growth in the conversation?
I believe everything we do has purpose. But lets say you had that routine conversation, would you be able to walk away from it and say that you found purpose in that conversation? There is talking and then there is TALKING! Communicating, growing, learning and fostering our own thoughts and portraying our feelings and opinions out to someone else. That is not just talking, it is connecting. Wording it like that sounds very intimate, very open and that is where we all falter. We fear openness and mostly, we fear judgment. It is safer to keep to the routine conversation, walk away and forget about it. You didn’t reveal to much about yourself, and that is pleasant, and safe. But you also did grow, and didn’t find purpose in the conversation.
I don’t mean that you must go around and force your opinion on someone. But I simply mean, ask the questions. What are you passionate about? How do you feel about this? What do you do everyday that brings you joy?
Asking these questions will make the other person open up, therefore you will open up. So there you go, you are communicating, growing, learning and getting down to it. It is surprising what a conversation about more than the weather can do. I have had conversations where I left it and actually knew more about myself by simply voicing my thoughts, and then in return knew more about the other person to. Communicating is the most underrated form of growth.
It is only when we be comfortable with the uncomfortable, can we really open up and break the barriers of these monotonous standard conversations.
So then, lets talk!